Sunday, July 15, 2012

Season 2 Episode 1: Brand New Season

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to Season 2 of the blog.  My mother asked me this week when I was going to write again, since the last blog was in January.   Truthfully, this first blog has been dominating my mind and I really procrastinated writing about this topic.  Now that I am back in Clarence Center and my mom goes to bed at 9pm, there are few choices other than to write the blog and start season 2.    

This season's highlights will include Thailand, Amelie, Serbia, Hershey Park, airline ratings, family stuff, gay pride Sofia, and lots of other interesting and fascinating topics.  I will also return to old topics such as the gym, weight loss, Bulgaria, and other fabulous topics.

Without further ado, it is time for one procrastinator to get this season's first edition started.

Yup, I'm Oprah Fat Again:  After all the talk about trying to be Oprah thin last season, I have gone in the opposite direction and gone to the other side of spectrum towards Oprah fat.  I have a what I now call a kangaroo pouch, which is much better than comparing myself to a whale which I have told George the past few months. Despite working out and doing 200+ exercise days a year, I have somehow become Oprah fat again, which is a heartbreaking disappointment to me.  Yes, Mr. Joseph is Oprah fat and then some, Waaaaaaaaaahhhh!

I emphasize with Oprah completely because it feels like my body wants to be fat, even though I desperately fight to be thinner.  I shouldn't really complain, because I am not overly obese, but I have always been conscious about my weight.  While I have never been super overweight, I have always been slightly overweight with a pouch.  I have tried many times to get rid of the pouch, and failed miserably almost every time.   My family is full of addicts, and my addiction is food for sure like my grandmother and aunt.  If there is a bag of chips or something similar, I feel compelled to consume the entire package of cookies, chips, french fries, or any salty, sweet, or chocolate flavored snack, regardless of the portion size.  While I feel blessed not to be plagued with alcohol or drug problems my other family members battle constantly and usually without much success, I still have an addiction I need to confront and battle on a yearly/monthly/lifelong basis.

Prague in October 2008 about 15 kilos lighter.

These past six months have been a difficult period for me. Since Thanksgiving until I tore my left quad muscle in mid-June, I worked out regularly and did weights at the Atletik Fitness(which will take another whole blog entry), but still maintained the 88-90 kilo weight status since Thanksgiving.  There are some weeks I sweat my butt off from head to toe wearing old, unfashionable t-shirts in front of all the gay divas(including the crazy French Arabs), and did not lose once single pound or kilo.  While I have nice arms and a chest thanks to the gym, every gram of fat has decided to reside in the stomach area and wants to grow larger as I grow older and wiser. 

What have I learned?  I need to do something else besides working out and confront the other issues that have caused me to get to this weight level.  My usual workout like crazy and binge eat simply doesn't work as I get older and my metabolism has decided to slow down a bit. 

During this time, George has heard many of my rants and ravings, and he has been fabulous in making me maintain a positive self image.  This is reason #236 of the many reasons on why George is not really Bulgarian.  This could easily become an entire blog issue, and it kills him when people speak English to him or give him English menus.  I find it extremely hysterical, especially when I get a Bulgarian menu and he doesn't.

Why is this reason #236 on why George isn't Bulgarian?  Bulgarians are bluntly honest about everything.  I know my Bulgarian friends in Balchik would politely tell me I was fat and I needed to do something about it.  They wouldn't be cruel, but they would simply state the facts.  Alex, aka Sasha Fierce, lovingly tells me I am huge as I grow before his eyes.  My lovely fourth grade squirrels politely affirmed the fact I have a lot of mass and weight as we discussed the difference between mass and weight.   

Fat and Fabulous on New Year's Eve.  Have not lost one kilo since getting Amelie.  :(

 George is the opposite and gives me positive affirmations and gives me the belief that I am still an amazing person.  These are the things my mother, Owen, Sarah, or any other American would say.  He encourages me to go work out, and keep trying to lose the weight.  While he does not tell me I am thin as a beanpole, George comforts and consoles me.  He even does this while he sleeps some mornings when I can no longer fit into half of my work pants, frustratingly scream, and threaten to tear the offending pants into a million pieces.

Since I am not willing to buy a whole new wardrobe and I barely fit into pants in my fat size category, I have decided to take the following measures to help lose weight:

1.  Drink a lot less soda/pop.   This one kills me, but my cousin is convinced this is one of the reasons I haven't lost weight. 
2.  Eat reasonable meals at all times.
3.  Only eat when I am hungry.  Do not eat simply because others are eating.
4.  Refrain from pigging out at work functions and devouring a tray of appetizers.
5.  Refrain from pigging out at work functions or other party functions.  I had to repeat this one twice.
6.  Stop binge eating when I am alone at home, or alone somewhere.  This means I  cannot eat an entire bag of chips at once, 100 grams of chocolate, or an entire package of cookies or french fries.  
7.  Develop some will power for crying out loud.

Deceptively hiding some of my weight at the work Christmas Party :)
I could put fruits and veggies on there, but I already eat a lot of those.  I need to eliminate my bad habits and binge eating.  This is easier said than done, but someone in my family needs to conquer their addictions, so I should lead by example.  I feel relieved to have written this blog and freely admit my weight issues and neurotic behaviors.  Now, my goal is to change myself as to not   

Wow, I finally got this written out and it is satisfying to conquer the fear of admitting failure, but   While I may never achieve Oprah thin phase again, I do want to get rid of some of the unnecessary weight in my kangaroo pouch.  Instead of fitting two joeys, I would prefer to fit into one.  Most importantly, I refuse to buy a whole new wardrobe, as this is just too much time, money, and effort to find clothes I actually like wearing.  This should be my real motivation to head towards Oprah thin again, but I might need some encouragement from people to rid myself of part of my kangaroo pouch.  Otherwise, I'll end up shopping for the husky Levi jeans I had to buy in 6th and 7th grades. 

Below are two links.  One is a hysterical commercial and I highly encourage any friend, colleague, or family member to do this to me when they see me eating something I should not be consuming based on my rules.  I would gladly buy someone a drink at school to see them do to me what this commercial does.  The other is a BBC article that recently came out where you can compare your weight compared to the weight of people throughout the world.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the first installment of Season 2. 

 What you can do if you see me eating something I shouldn't be eating. :)